


Just Kinda Wish You Were Gay

by LetTheMusicMoveYou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Boys Kissing, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Hook-Up, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Sexual Orientation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 01:17:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18305210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetTheMusicMoveYou/pseuds/LetTheMusicMoveYou
Summary: “But if you knew he was gay that would help you get over him right?”Lottie eyes him suspiciously as she bites into a piece of bacon. “What are you getting at Lou?”Louis shrugs. “I’m not getting at anything, I’m just saying that if you knew for sure he was gay it would be easier for you to move on.”Lottie nods. “Ok yeah, but what do you suggest I do? I’ve already stalked his Insta and probed his best mates. And I’ve got nothing.”Louis grins. “I think you might need a little help. Someone to go undercover.”Lottie takes a sip of her fresh drink the waiter just dropped off. “This might be the champagne talking, but I think you’re suggesting I let you seduce Harry.”(Or the one where Lottie is hung up on a guy who may or not be gay. Louis helpfully offers to figure it out for her).Title from wish you were gay by Billie Eilish





	Just Kinda Wish You Were Gay

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Loves!
> 
> All hail queen Billie! I'm obsessed with her album. This drabble practically wrote itself. 
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts!
> 
> POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING: this fic involves discussions of a character's perceived sexual orientation. I don't condone forcing a certain label on anyone. Nothing is meant to be malicious. And of course this is a fictional story. Please just read with caution if it's something that bothers you. x
> 
> Thanks for reading! x

Louis watches as his sister drops into the chair across from him with a loud sigh. He can’t quite seem to stop the eye roll that escapes. He’s obviously going to be spending the majority of this brunch listening to whatever it is that’s got Lottie all worked up this week. 

It’s not that he doesn’t love his sister, he does. It’s just that he’s got his own shit to deal with. He realizes belatedly that Lottie’s looking at him expectantly like she’s waiting for an answer. He gives her a sheepish smile. “Sorry Lots, think I kind of zoned out there. What’d you say?”

Lottie shakes her head, but she’s smiling. “You have the attention span of a puppy, I swear. I asked if you’d ordered yet?”

He confirms he hasn’t and watches as she flags down a waiter. The cafe isn’t very busy for Saturday brunch and they’re the only one’s currently seated outside on the patio. They can probably account the solitude to the fact that it’s still rather cool out being Autumn in London. But lucky for them they’ve never really minded cooler temperatures, their friends joke it’s cause they’re cold blooded.

The waiter makes his way over to their table quickly and gives Lottie a warm smile. “What can I get for you miss?” He’s obviously checking her out, but in true Lottie fashion she doesn’t even notice.

“We’ll start with two mimosas please and keep them coming.” The waiter nods politely and dashes off to put in their drink order.

Louis can’t help but smirk at her. “Rough night?”

She narrows her eyes, but eventually nods. “I’ll tell you all about it after the alcohol hits. What about you, how was your Friday night?”

He shrugs. “Not that eventful. Just work mostly. Pulled a double at the club.”

Lottie wrinkles her nose in disgust. “Why are you even still bar tending at all? I thought the song writing thing was taking off?”

He runs his fingertip along the glass edge of the small round table in front of him. “Dunno, really. I guess the money’s good and it’s stable. The songwriting thing’s working now but it’s no guarantee.” 

Lottie nods. “Look, I get it. I’m just saying you can probably afford to work a little less and maybe have a life now.” 

He’s about to respond when the waiter returns with their drinks. Louis can’t help but notice he’s quite fit with a strong build and chestnut hair quaffed perfectly atop his head. He’s sort of Louis’ type. _Lottie’s too_. 

“Can I get you both anything to eat?”

Lottie nods gratefully. “Oh god yes, I’m starving. I’ll have the poached eggs on avocado toast with a side of bacon.” She pauses for a moment to ponder. “Actually make that a double side of bacon.” The waiter gives her a kind smile and nods before turning to Louis.

“I’ll just have the Belgium waffles with whipped cream and strawberries.”

Lottie’s already got her glass half empty by the time the waiter leaves them alone at their table.”

Louis arches his brow at her. “Wow, double side of bacon? This must be serious.”

Lottie nods solemnly before taking another large gulp of her drink. “It is Lou.” She pauses for what Louis assumes is meant to be dramatic effect but it’s mostly just making him annoyed. “I think my boyfriend’s gay. Or at least I hope he is. I don’t even know at this point.”

Louis can’t help the surprised laugh that escapes. “I”m sorry what? I didn’t think you even had a boyfriend.”

Lottie lets out an annoyed huff of air. “God Louis keep up. I’m talking about Harry. The guy I’ve been telling you about for the last two weeks?”

Louis nods. “Ok yeah, I remember him. But I though you said he didn’t want to label it, that he wasn’t looking for a relationship.”

Lottie is nodding. “Yeah, but that’s the point. We’ve been hanging out for weeks now and I’ve been using all my best tricks but it’s like he doesn’t even care. If he was straight we’d probably be married by now. Or at the very least I would have gotten to suck his dick already.”

Louis breaks out into a grin as he watches their waiter nearly drop their second round of drinks he has balanced on his tray. To Lottie’s credit she does blush slightly when she sees him. “Whoops sorry, didn’t see you there love. Just pretend you didn’t hear that.” 

He deposits their drinks and mumbles something about going to check on their food order.

Lottie sighs. “Great, now I’m going to have to tip him double.”

Louis smirks. “Not to play devil’s advocate here Lots, but what makes you think that he’s gay? Like maybe he’s just not that into you.”

She shoots him a glare. “You’re my brother aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”

Louis grins. “Of course I’m on your side. I’m just saying, that’s not the only possible explanation.”

Lottie nods. “I know. I guess part of me just kind wants him to be gay, cause then it’s not my fault ya know?”

Suddenly Louis feels his heart break for her, and his fierce loyalty kicks in. He knows he teases Lottie most of the time, but he loves her and he’d do literally anything for her.

“Hey, none of that Charlotte Tomlinson. You are a fucking catch and you deserve to be treated that way alright? If this guy makes you feel like shit than he’s not worth your time.”

Lottie gives him a soft smile. “Thanks Lou. And I know. It’s just that I like Harry so much. I just don’t know how to get over him.”

Louis nods slowly as he considers that. Suddenly their waiter sweeps by with their plates of food. He eyes their empty glasses warily. “Another round?” He’s met with two silent nods so he disappears back into the restaurant. 

“But if you knew he was gay that would help you get over him right?”

Lottie eyes him suspiciously as she bites into a piece of bacon. “What are you getting at Lou?”

Louis shrugs. “I’m not getting at anything, I’m just saying that if you knew for sure he was gay it would be easier for you to move on.”

Lottie nods. “Ok yeah, but what do you suggest I do? I’ve already stalked his Insta and probed his best mates. And I’ve got nothing.” 

Louis grins. “I think you might need a little help. Someone to go undercover.” 

Lottie takes a sip of her fresh drink the waiter just dropped off. “This might be the champagne talking, but I think you’re suggesting I let you seduce Harry.”

Louis holds up his glass in triumph. “Exactly! It’s a foolproof plan. If Harry falls for me then you’ll have your answer once and for all.”

Lottie lets out a groan. “You are literally the only person on the planet that could somehow twist stealing my boyfriend into doing me a favor.”

She flicks a stay chunk of avocado at him. “You’re the worst brother ever.”

Louis gives her a smirk. “Or am I the best? And you said yourself that you and Harry aren’t dating yet. I would just be helping you do your proper research.”

Lottie reaches for another piece of bacon. “I’m sure this is gonna make way less sense when I’m sober, but what the hell? Nothing else has worked, might as well give this a try.”

Louis beams at her triumphantly. “That’s the spirit! And trust me Lots, if he doesn’t fall for me he’s not gay.” 

Lottie just rolls her eyes as she bites into her toast. “You’re a menace Louis Tomlinson.”

***

Louis watches as Lottie aggressively stabs the lift button until the doors eventually slide closed and the contraption starts moving upwards. He does his best to ignore the creaking sound he hears. “Who’s party is this again?”

Lottie shrugs nonchalantly. “Ashley’s I think. Or maybe Megan’s? I don’t really know actually. But not like it matters, Harry’s going to be here and that’s the point.”

Louis shakes his head. He doesn’t have the vaguest idea who Ashley or Megan are, but Lottie’s kind of right. _That’s so not the point of tonight_. 

Lottie leans her head back against the steel interior of the lift but then winces when her hair apparently gets caught in something sticky. Louis watches as she frantically runs her hand through her bleached blonde locks. “Do you think this will work?”

Louis raises his brow at her. “Do you want it to work?” 

Lottie sighs. “I’ve been thinking a lot about that actually, and I’m not exactly sure. I mean on the one hand I have all these fantasies in my head about me and Harry living happily ever after and all that jazz. But the thing is, it might just be a fantasy. I need to find out once and for all.” 

Louis smirks at her. “So if he and I end up living happily ever after?”

Lottie laughs. “If that happens I’ll plan your wedding. Anyone who could convince you to settle down is miracle worker as far as I’m concerned.” 

Louis gives her a playful shove on the shoulder as he moves to exit the lift. “Shut it you. I am doing you a favor after all.” 

Lottie rolls her eyes. “Yeah, cause flirting with cute boys is a real hardship for you.” 

They make their way down the dimly lit hallway towards the sound of loud music. They don’t even have to knock because the door is propped open by an empty bottle of Smirnoff. Luckily they’re saved from an awkward conversation with whoever it is that’s hosting this party. 

There are definitely way too many people packed into this small flat. Louis just hopes that Harry shows up to the party before the police inevitably come to shut it down. 

Lottie yells something about going to talk to a girl she knows from class. Or at least he thinks that what she said, it’s kind of hard to hear over the pounding bass in his ears. He lets himself sway slightly to the music as he gets swept into the crowd. It’s honestly been awhile since he’s been at a party like this. Lottie might be right, maybe he works too much.

He’s pulled out his thoughts when he feels someone clap a hand on his back. “Hey Tommo, been a while!”

Louis grins at his old friend. The last time he saw Niall they ended up on a plane to Madrid at three in the morning. He smiles at the memory. Lottie was livid when she had to pick him up at the airport the next day. 

“Hey Ni, it’s been too long. How the Hell are you?”

Niall grins. “You know how it is. Same bullshit. You look good mate.” His eyes scan down Louis’ loose vest and ripped skinny jeans that hug him in all the right places. He chuckles. “Someone has their pulling jeans on tonight.”

Louis grins back. “Maybe, we’ll see. You know where a guy can get a drink around here?” 

Niall lets out another laugh and shakes his head. “Like you even have to ask, follow me.” 

They make their way through the crowd to what appears to be the kitchen. Louis’ grateful to see it’s well stocked. He reaches for a beer, but Niall shakes his head. “This is a party Lou, do it right yeah?” 

Louis shakes his head as he watches Niall deftly mix a very stiff drink that he’s definitely going to regret in the morning. “Every time I drink with you I usually end up naked in a foreign country.”

Niall lets out a loud bark of laughter. “Right, so you should be thanking me then.”

Louis chuckles as he takes the red plastic cup Niall offers him. “RIP to my liver.”

Niall holds up his own cup and knocks them together. “Cheers mate!”

Louis watches as his friend disappears back into the crowd. He decides to hang out in the kitchen a bit longer. It’s easier to think in here.

“Is this where the real party is?” Louis turns towards the unfamiliar voice and sucks in a breath. Not to be overly dramatic, but he might be looking at the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen. _Alright, just a little dramatic_.

The stranger is looking at him with a smile that goes all the way to his sparkling green eyes. He flicks away a loose curl that’s fallen out of the bun atop his head. Louis lets his gaze travel down from the loose shirt with an intricate floral pattern and only a few buttons done up down to the very tight black skinny jeans. _How did he even get those on his body?_

He suddenly remembers that this God has asked him a question. “If your definition of a party is one guy in a kitchen with a shit ton of boose then yeah. This is where the party is.”

The still unidentified man grins at him. “Actually I just call that a Tuesday, but I’d be willing to make an exception.” He gives Louis a wink before reaching past him to grab a beer. 

Louis watches slightly mesmerized as he grabs a bottle opener and pops the cap off with practiced ease. His hands are _big_. 

Louis tries desperately to regain his composure. He can’t remember the last time anyone threw him off like this. Maybe he’s just out of practice. 

“Whoa there cowboy, I don’t think we’re at that stage yet. I don’t even know your name, and my mum always told me not to talk to strangers.”

Louis beams when he gets the other man to laugh. He wants to hear that laugh again. “Fair enough. My name’s….”

He gets cut off my a loud screech from the other side of the kitchen. “Harry! There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.” 

Louis can’t help but be shocked as he watches his sister wrap her hands around the guy’s waist. Around Harry’s waist. That’s Harry. _Shit_. 

“I see you met my brother.” She shoots Louis a knowing look. 

Harry raises his brow and turns to Louis. “Kind of, we hadn’t really gotten to the introductions yet.” He holds his hand out to Louis with a grin. “I’m Harry, nice to meet you… officially.” 

Louis tries to fight off his shock and takes his hand. “Nice to meet you too. Lots has told me all about you.” 

Harry chuckles. “Should I be worried?”

Louis gives him a shrug. “I like to draw my own conclusions.” 

Lottie tilts her head to the side. “And what’s your verdict?”

Louis hums. “Still working on it.” He gives Harry a reassuring smile. “So far so good.”

Harry puts on a mock offended expression. “I’m feeling a little judged right now.”

Lottie rolls her eyes. “Oh please, you love the attention.” 

Harry grins and takes another sip of his beer. “You can’t prove anything.”

Lottie shakes her head before turning back to Louis. “Oh my gosh, you’ll never guess who I just ran into.”

Louis raises his brow. “Lady Gaga?”

Lottie rolls her eyes again as Harry giggles. “Neither one of you are funny by the way, and no. It was the waiter from brunch the other day. Turns out he’s called Eric and he’s a writer. He’s only doing the serving job until he can get a book deal. He went to primary school with Ashley. Small world huh?”

Louis lets out a laugh. “And he was willing to talk to you after you spilled your fourth mimosa all over him?”

Lottie lets out a huff. “That was your fault. You’re supposed to cut me off when I get like that, and besides I gave him a good tip so all’s forgiven. Anyways, we should all go dance.” 

He doesn’t normally dance, but the drink Niall made him is starting to kick in so he just shrugs and turns to Harry. “I’m in if you are?” 

Harry gives him another goofy grin. “Let’s do it.”

***

He’s not sure how long they’ve been dancing, or where it is that Lottie’s gone off to. He’s also not sure when exactly Harry’s hands made their way to his hips, but he’s not complaining. In fact, he really wouldn’t mind if they went a bit lower.

This mission to help Lottie has turned out much better than he imagined.

_Lottie_. 

_Shit_. 

He’s probably going to Hell for this.

Harry presses his front closer to Louis’ back and and he can’t help but notice the bulge pressing against his bum through and infuriating amount of clothes. He leans in closer to whisper in Louis’ ear. 

“Want to get out of here?”

_Oh well, maybe Hell’s not so bad. What’s an eternity anyway?_

He nods to Harry’s question and gratefully takes the hand that’s slipped into his own. He leans in closer, “need to find Lottie first.” 

Harry nods and they make their way towards the outside of the room. Louis scans the crowd and his jaw drops when he finally spots his sister. She’s not alone. In fact, she’s currently in the middle of what appears to be a pretty intense snogging session with the waiter Eric. 

He drops Harry’s hand when they reach the pair and taps on Lottie’s shoulder to get her attention. 

She attempts and fails to correct her now askew top as she pulls away from Eric.

“Oh hey guys, what’s up?”

Louis shakes his head fondly at her feigned nonchalance. He stands on his tiptoes to peek over her shoulder at Eric. “Hey man, good to see you again.”

Lottie waves her hand in front of his face to capture his attention again and he can hear the irritation clear in her voice. “Did you need something Lewis?”

He ignores the jab at his name and just smirks at her. “Just wanted to let you know we’re leaving.” He pretends to start walking away before turning back around. “Oh and you were totally right, Harry’s super gay. Have a good night Charlotte!”

He grabs Harry’s hand and leaves his slack-jawed sister with Eric. 

***

After a brief discussion about who’s place was closer and a cab ride filled with far too much sexual tension, they finally stumble through the doorway of Harry’s place. 

Louis feels his back hit the door as soon as it’s closed behind them, and he lets out a loud moan at the way Harry’s strong hands pin his wrists above his head. He soon blushes red in embarrassment when he realizes he has no idea what Harry’s living situation is. “Shit, you live alone right? I’m not waking up your flatmate or anything?”

Harry shrugs as he mouths loose kisses down the column of Louis’ throat. “Just my mum, she won’t mind though.”

Louis let out a strangled sound of surprise and tries to struggle out of Harry’s hold, but he’s only met with a chuckle and a tighter grasp. “I’m joking, love.” Louis can feel the vibration of Harry’s low rasp as he mumbles the words into his skin. His deep and painfully slow voice going straight to Louis’ groin. “I’m the only one the gets to hear you. Well me, and the neighbors if you get loud enough.” 

Louis whimpers lightly as he relaxes under Harry’s touch. “Lottie’s right, you’re not funny.”

Harry only grins and then retaliates by nibbling on Louis’ ear. “I seem to remember she said we were both unfunny.” 

Louis does his best to bite back another moan as Harry transfers his wrists to one hand and moves the other to slide under Louis’ shirt and slowly moves it upwards. “Well she was right about one of us.” 

Harry makes eye contact as he suddenly pinches one of Louis’ nipples. “Good thing I didn’t bring you here to make you laugh then.” 

Louis throws his head back and winces when it hits the door with a loud thud. “What’d you have in mind then hmm?”

Harry grins as he reaches down to cup Louis’ still clothed length in his palm. He leans forward to murmur in Louis’ ear as he tries to buck into Harry’s hand. “I’ve got a few ideas.”

The next thing he knows he’s being pulled from the door and led through Harry’s flat. Normally he would be more critical of his surroundings, but as it is Harry could have cardboard boxes for furniture and he literally wouldn’t notice. 

Somehow they’re still kissing, even as they're moving into what Louis assumes is Harry’s bedroom. It’s sloppy and uncoordinated and just barely qualifies as kissing, but it doesn’t really seem to matter at this point. Louis just needs to be connected to Harry in any way possible. Harry seems to be on the same page.

He feels the back of his knees hit something soft, yet firm. His surprised yelp gets lost in the warmth of Harry’s mouth as his back lands on the bed. Harry is right there on top of him, his knees and hands bracketing Louis’ body as he leans down to steal a few more kisses. 

It takes Louis’ brain a few seconds to register that Harry’s speaking, he has to listen closely to make out the words since Harry’s now trailing light kisses down his neck. “I do need to clear something up first.” 

Louis throws his head back and arches as much as he can under Harry’s weight. “What are you on about?”

Harry smirks as he toys with the button of Louis’ jeans. “I’m not gay.”

Louis groans as Harry slides a large hand under his shirt and up to tweak a nipple between his fingers. “Harry, my brain is kind of melting right now. I don’t know what you’re saying.”

Harry chuckles lowly as he leans down to bite Louis’ other nipple through the thin fabric of his shirt. He waits to answer before he’s pulled away and observed the flush creeping up Louis’ neck. “You told Lottie back at the party that I’m gay, it’s not true.”

Louis leans up the best he can to prop himself on his elbows. “Are we not about to have sex, or did I read this tragically wrong?” 

Harry is laughing again, a low rumble from deep in his chest. He finally unbuttons Louis’ jeans and pulls down the zip agonizingly slowly. “Oh no love, we’re definitely having sex.” Before Louis can even comprehend the words Harry slips a hand under the waistband of his pants and grips his length in a warm grasp. His voice is low and deep in Louis’ ear. “I don’t need to be gay to make you scream.”

He then pauses to stare genuinely in Louis’ eyes. “Unless that’s a problem for you?”

Louis lets out a strangled laugh. “You’ve got my dick in your hand mate. No problems here.” 

Harry’s shaking his head but he’s smiling softly. “I’m serious. It’s a problem for some people.”

Louis reaches up to cup Harry’s face in both of his hands. “I’m serious too. Can you just do me one favor though?”

Harry raises his brow in question. ‘What’s the favor?”

Louis grins. “Can we just let Lottie keep thinking you’re only into guys? It’s better for her ego.”

Harry smirks and gives Louis’ length a firm squeeze. 

“I think maybe we can work something out.”

 


End file.
